I have become a murder mystery snob.
After years of being a librarian, every time someone asked a question I would immediately start thinking about how I would go about finding the answer.
After years of being a knowledge manager, after every story of a project ending I would think "What went wrong? What went right? How would we do it better next time?". You can't help it, it's what you do.
And now, after spending almost a year slaving over the manuscript of my cozy mystery as well as desperately searching for the mots juste in my new short stories, I cannot read anything without thinking "That's not how *I* would have done it...". Whether it's too-obvious clues, badly structured plot lines, or just a clunky or repetitive sentence, apparently my ego has decided that I am now an expert in all things written. And all this without being published!
This is the obviously the downside to spending a lot of time doing something. And yet, with the all the online seminars on writing that I've taken, all the conventions attended, all the writing group meetings and articles read, I am still less certain that I have what it takes to be a successful writer than I was when I started.
Imposter syndrome runs strong in most of us. All I can do is keep writing, keep submitting, and hope that persistence will pay off in the end.
And, of course, I remind myself that even if it turns out I'm not meant to be a writer, I've still got it pretty darned good.
But seriously, some of these published writers... ;)
You were definitely meant to be a writer. If you're not up to the task, who the heck is? Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteThat just means you're learning lessons from others' mistakes. A useful skill, no?
ReplyDelete